You’ll never guess what they’re calling them.
There are lots and lots of issues with a new collection of Donald Trump non-fungible tokens (NFTs) — not least of which that they’re spectacularly ugly and shadily-run.
“Hello everyone, this is Donald Trump, hopefully your favorite president of all time,” the real estate pariah says in a promo video for the drop which, because of its “laser eyes” effect, makes it look like his eyes point in comically different directions. “Better than Lincoln, better than Washington, with an important announcement to make.”
Trump’s biggest ideological allies were alarmed by the drop, which he had teased earlier as a “major announcement.”
“Thank God, the digital trading cards are here,” scoffed Ben Shapiro, a prominent conservative pundit. “It was indeed a MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT.”
Conservative rank and file were even more put off by the release online.
“This is one of the cringiest things I’ve ever seen,” wrote one observer on the Conservative subreddit. “I hope one of the cards is of Trump jumping the shark.”
With the on-the-nose name “Trump Cards,” the site’s language and selling points make it seem as if some bottom-feeder explained NFTs to the infamous ex-president in terms of collectible baseball cards — but as the fine print of the site selling these digital reproductions notes, it’s not DJT himself doing the selling.
At the very bottom of the CollectTrumpCards.com home page, a disclaimer declares that in spite of repeatedly bearing crappy illustrations of the ex-prez’s likeness, the company behind the drop, NFT International LLC, is not at all affiliated with Trump, any of his organizations, or his 2024 presidential campaign.
Instead, the disclaimer appears to suggest that whoever is behind the LLC actually paid to use The Donald’s likeness — which is, perhaps, the only thing sadder than buying a Trump NFT in a bottomed-out crypto market. In fact, some observers aren’t even convinced the collection are NFTs at all on a technological level, meaning anyone who buys them is just getting a digital image with no unique ownership rights.
Like we said above, it’s also strikingly unclear who exactly owns the project. As digital sleuths have found, the company name appears to be a front of sorts that has some sort of presence or registration in three separate states. In the site’s FAQ, the mysterious creators of the drop say that the “digital trading cards” have “nothing to do with any political campaign.”
In spite of the fine print disclaimer, the creators’ lack of Trump affiliation may, however, end up going unnoticed by their clearly crypto-ignorant target audience, to whom NFTs are explained in terminology that would be at home in a Fox News infomercial — all without mentioning, of course, that the burgeoning blockchain-centric art market has been all but decimated as the industry at large crashes and burns.
“These are just like baseball cards, but you collect them digitally, on your computer or phone,” the drop’s site reads. “All you need is an email address and a credit card to start collecting 1, 10, 20 or 100. Instantly become part of a new league of collectors.”
Along with owning the digital images themselves, Trump Card buyers will, per the site, also gain access to sweepstakes in which they’re entered to win incredible perks like a “Miami dinner with Donald Trump,” a cocktail hour at Mar-A-Lago, group or individual Zoom calls with DJT, and lots of other weird and sad offerings.
The site also promises that if someone purchases 45 of the NFTs — a value of about $4500 given that they’re $99 a pop — they are “guaranteed a ticket to dinner” with the man himself. Unsurprisingly, the site doesn’t go into much detail about how these prize meetings will be scheduled.
Perhaps even more hilariously, the Trump NFT drop doesn’t seem to be going over well with his acolytes who were expecting something bigger from the “major announcement” he’d teased. One stan account even went so far as to blast the ex-president for dropping a “low quality NFT collection video,” which “pushes people away” from the cause.
All things considered, the MAGA crowd would be far from the ideal consumer for these “Trump Cards” — not when NFTs were in a bull market, and especially not now.